Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

So I'm sitting here in my parents' living room, having just completed a characteristically hasty and last-minute job of packing for NCCC. If this were the Oregon Trail that I was preparing for, a swift death from dysentery would be my due. As it is, though, I probably will survive.

But I'm not thinking about supplies or provisions at the moment. I'm thinking, in that maudlin and morose way of mine, about the people I'm leaving behind. Yes, I know... break out the tissues.

Ever since I left Gillette one month ago, it seems I've been walking through an endless parade of "so long's" "farewell's" and "'til we meet again's." Hell, even the automated goodbye message from Netflix after I canceled my subscription felt bittersweet.

I've had to explain NCCC a fair number of times to friends, family and acquaintances as I've made the rounds, chewing on those same words and hoping to find some new meaning behind them:

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. I think it will be a good experience."

"I just wanted to do something different, get my hands dirty."

"Absolutely, I'll be sure to keep in touch."

"Follow my blog, or we aren't friends/relatives anymore."

You know, stuff like that. And with one week before NCCC begins, I don't think I'm any closer to coming to terms with the idea. I keep trying to envision the next year of my life, and yet there's nothing but a vague fog of mismatched images to fill my imagination.

So that makes leaving everyone I know (again) feel that much more troubling, even if it's just for a year. On Saturday, I visited my sister in Columbia, Mo., where she's attending college. It was an odd sort of compromise... one more day together as brother and sister before I ran off to complete the latest in a long line of questionable misadventures.

We wandered around the sprawling campus, trading inside jokes as the winter sun hovered lazily overhead. Rachel and I are pretty much on the same wavelength, and that's a rare thing for two odd ducks like us. After a day spent with her, I came away thinking... "Yeah, that is what's important to me. That is what I need to hold on to."

Sunday night, it was goodbye to my grandparents, with stiff hugs exchanged outside an overpriced restaurant. Then farewell to longtime friend/ex-roommate Bob, in the form of a basement jam session and a commiserating discussion on the state of the journalism industry.

Finally, I gave my parents their ceremonial last hugs tonight. That's when I know a stay in St. Louis is over: when Mom is staring at me longingly from a neighboring couch and Dad is engaging me in every random conversation he can conjure up.

Since it's been brought to my attention that my folks have become readers of the blog, I don't see the need to add much else. You guys know how I feel, of course.

Auf wiedersehen, shalom, sayonara, et cetera.

I hit the road tomorrow. I'll see ya when I see ya.